Things that make ya go HMMM...

What a week! I started back to school on Tuesday (my last semester...YEAHHH!) I was so not looking forward to coming back after the holidays, but at the same time I was desperately ready to go back so that I can zip through this semester & hurry up & graduate. My classes are definitely going to be a lot of work. A LOT. OF. WORK. I am not writing a thesis for my masters; instead, I am taking a class in which we have to write a paper (& get it ready for publication to a major criminological journal!) & also do a project in a neighborhood in Houston. Once I have chosen my neighborhood, I have to go to the Homeowner's Association meetings, find out as much as I can about the area, examine crime statistics, the what, where, why, what has worked to prevent such crime from occuring, what hasn't worked, what things are in place to help prevent it in the future, and so on. SIDENOTE**I may need to take a shank with me..pepper spray..or other weaponry..haha. We get to PICK our neighborhood..but it can't be the same as anyone else's..& it has to be on the "Super Neighborhood" list. SOOO hopefully I get a legit neighborhood that isn't TOO unsafe. Anyway..so after that's all squared away, I have to come up with a plan to combat the crime problem for the next three years within that neighborhood...& it must be supported with research & theory, of course. I also have to do two presentations for that class..& several more drafts of my paper..& I also have a mid-term & a final. That's just ONE class. The other class is criminological research & statistics..& we have to do all statistics computations by HAND. Ugh. Gag me. I am SO not a math person. So I am definitely not looking forward to that either. My last class is an independent study class which is the Innocence Project of Texas. We are working on lots of neat projects for that, as well, so that will definitely be plenty to keep me busy, too. All of that...AND a full time job. Yeah buddy. Oh & did I mention that I also have ALL A's? You have no idea how proud that makes me..to see my hard work coming to fruition. All I can say is GOD IS GOOD...ALL THE TIME!

I have really been thinking long & hard about the future. I do think that I will probably go back to school eventually & get my PhD..just not NOW. I am so ready to get out into the real world & just live life for a little while. I've been in school for forever it seems..because, well, quite frankly, I have. Between undergraduate, my brief stint with law school, & then graduate school..it has been monotonous & continuous! And I have definitely been through a lot in those years. Don't believe me? Well..take a trip down memory lane & read some of my very first blogs EVER from a few years ago. You might be surprised. That girl back then..is a stranger to me now. I don't even know who she is. That's how much I have changed. That's how much God has done. And the beautiful thing? He's not finished yet! He's JUST getting started people!

I must say that it feels so good to have so many encouraging people in my corner...so many wonderful brothers and sisters of mine in Christ. You never know the magnitude of your words..& just how far they go for a person. Remind yourself of that often; someone could be having the WORST possible day on the earth..& your words determine whether their day continues to be that way or not. You could possibly change it & turn it all around. So thank you for all of the people that love & support me & want to see me prosper in life!

Okay so..now for a brief disclaimer before I get into the real inspiration...the "meat & potatoes" of my blog. First, I am not sure exactly HOW many people read this or even if it is worth me writing. I try to share my link on facebook..just for the simple fact that I know some people do like to read it for sure & keep up with me. So for the other 24927349823490234 who don't..well..sorry bout it. lol.

And also for some of you who are probably doing the eye roll when you read my blog..especially when I mention "all that God stuff..." well...I'm not sorry. Because without God I wouldn't be who I am or where I am. I cannot even tell you how much I have grown in my faith over the last few years. But especially now. My boyfriend and I do a devotional together every night before bed time. I also do a women's devotional on my own & read the Bible alongside with it. I go to church..& when I don't..I watch it online. I'm not saying those things to brag; because none of those things are what save me. But they have helped me grow in my relationship. Tremendously. I remember way back when..I used to think that I just couldn't fathom how some people do that kind of stuff all the time. That kind of stuff refers to doing things like church, reading the bible, praying about everything while worrying about nothing, doing devotionals, ect. I just didn't understand their dedication..or their want to do all of those things. Until I got older. And that's when I realized..how could you not? God loved us so much that He gave His only son..the ultimate sacrifice. How could you not want to know Him more..seek Him more? Become more like Him?

Recently, I have seen a video surfacing around titled "Why I hate religion, but love Jesus." Not gonna lie..it's pretty compelling & thought provoking. It's one of those things that you listen to..that makes you go HMMM. I've seen a lot of people on facebook posting it & reposting it...& about a thousand JILLION people "liking it." So I wanted to share my thoughts.

First, I think a quote that someone once said..sums it up best: "Let your religion be less of a theory and more of a love affair." That is to say that people need to stop focusing so much on the differences between Methodist, Baptist, Protestant, Catholic, ect. & start focusing on the one thing that matters the most: God. The problem occurs when people get the wrong idea that it is in doing those things (doing good works, going to church reguarly, ect.) that they achieve God's favor or salvation, because those are things that only happen through the grace of Jesus alone. You could go to church your entire life..and still go to hell when you die. That's the truth.

However, Jesus loves the church. It says that time and time again in the Bible. So I think a lot of people have gone off the deep end with this whole video..thinking that religion & the church are BAD entirely. Which is not true. That's what the devil would have you to believe though.

Not sure about any of you - but without church in my life...I CAN TELL A DIFFERENCE. Without church..I stop reading the word as much..hearing the word as much..stop praying as much, ect. Church brings it all back home. Being in a place where you can PRAISE Him & a place that helps you grow makes all the difference. Is every church perfect? No. Are there hypocrites out there? Yes. Is everyone who goes to church actually SAVED by the blood of Jesus Christ? No. Sadly, there are a lot of people who go to church..but who aren't actually Christians. It's like that saying.."going to church doesn't make you a Christian..anymore than standing in your garage makes you a car." So true. The devil can get into the church..just like he can get into anything else. And he does. Just look around you.

It's an awfully sad and cold world out there. I definitely could not even begin to understand all of the complexities of the Bible..without something to aid me on the journey..church, fellowship with believers, ect. I heard one person say that "to love Jesus and hate religion completely...is like the equivalent to calling upon a doctor and smashing all of his instruments when he arrives." Let that marinate.

Anddddd that's all I have to say about that. I am not here to start a religious debate with anyone..nor do I wish to go back & forth with anyone in regards to the matter. I am just sharing my thoughts. :)

Until next time...
Blessings!
Kyndra

New Year: Another Chance

Well it's a new year and has been for 2 whole weeks now. Praise God that we made it this far to see yet ANOTHER unpromised year..because the new year represents many things: change, opportunities, new life, and most importantly ANOTHER CHANCE to get life right. Think about that for a minute. Statistics say that by January 30th...most people's new years resolutions have dissipated. I was listening to a church sermon on Tuesday night..& in the sermon, the pastor posed this question: What is driving you?

It sounds like a fairly simple question, right? But not if you really think about it. Meditate on it. Reflect on it. And most importantly, examine yourself. In his sermon, he basically said this: That the one thing that the devil wants among other things from you...is your drive; your passion; your determination. Why? Well, for many reasons. First, Romans 12:11 says this: Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. Well..what does spiritual fervor mean? That means your drive, passion, and determination! So in other words, God doesn't want you to lose that! So when you sit around and leave your spiritual life to rot and allow the spirit of laziness to creep in, you aren't advancing yourself, you are just stuck right where you are. You lack your drive and determination! This is not good because there is a lot that God wants to do with you. God wants to USE you..but He can't because you have no drive or determination to seek Him out. Ever heard the adage, "An idle mind is the devil's workshop?" It has relevance!

COUCH POTATO. We have all heard that term. Maybe even used it. Couch potato, couch potato, COACH POTATO! It sounds funny. (*On a random note..do you ever hear words paired together & wonder how in the HECK someone came up with that term or word usage? Like..why a couch & a potato? Why not a couch tomato? Or a couch apple? Okay maybe that's just me...nevermind.) But..the term applies to someone that is lazy. Well what about a couch potato Christian? Are you one of them? I just came up with that term, so bear with me.

I personally know first hand what it means to struggle with the spirit of laziness. I think we all have struggled with fighting that spirit at some point or another in our lives. In fact, some of you that are reading this may be struggling with it RIGHT NOW. Your prayer life and time spent in God's word, if it exists at all, is routine and dry. If you drag yourself out of bed on Sunday morning to go to church, you go just to say that you went. You attend the service out of habit. You're so busy with the "rat race of life" that the thought of using the gifts that God has given you for His advancement..to bless other people..ect. is unimaginable. You're "too tired" to pray at night..."too tired" to read the Bible..."too busy" to go to church.."too busy" to have a relationship..."too caught up in the NOW" that you push it all off until tomorrow. Your mind is fleeting, and all you can envision is that nap that you can't wait to take when you get off of work. And then your thoughts. Ahhh your thoughts. The Bible says as a man thinketh, so is he. So what is another thing that happens when you are spiritually lazy? Well the devil gets a hold of your thoughts! Because he knows that if he can make you believe something, then you won't get anything done..& God won't be able to do what He wants to do in your life.

SO "you have to kill this spirit of procrastination..because the spirit of procrastination is the assassination of progress," as Pastor J says.

So I will ask you again...WHAT IS DRIVING YOU? Is it money? Fame? Is it popularity? Is it power? Is it having the best car..the hottest purse..the most coveted shoes...the fanciest house on the block? WHAT IS IT? God has given you another chance to make things right in your life by giving you the year 2012. So why not make a change today? Because you might not make it to tomorrow! And last time I checked..you can't take an iPad, a Range Rover, a Louis Vuitton purse, Christian Louboutin red bottom shoes, a Michael Kors watch, or anything else that is "in" on this earth...TO HEAVEN!

LET THE CHURCH SAY AMEN. Okay..so now that my sermon is over. hahaha. I will fill you in on the happenings of my life. If. you. care.

I had promised that I would get better about blogging, but the holidays were upon me and I fell off a bit. So sorry. Actually, I'm not..because I loved my holidays and time off from work. But anyway! Okay so..in a nutshell..here were my holidays/events leadings up to them:

Thanksgiving: I cooked my first ever Thanksgiving feast! That's right..this girl right here made a turkey ALL BY MYSELF!!!


I also made the cornbread for the dressing..pumpkin pie from scratch...pumpkin roll..cherry cobbler..green bean casserole..ect. When my mom, sisters, and boyfriend got here..there wasn't much preparation that needed to be done in the kitchen because I had done most of it. I'm not going to lie..I was super proud. FIST PUMP! But hey..I will say this. PROPS out to all you people who host Thanksgivings at your house year after year. Because it is a lot of work. AND A LOT OF MONEY. I don't think I have ever bought that many food items at the store at one time before...ever in my life. I felt like I was feeding an army. Okay so not really...but kind of. Anyway...I had a lot of fun with my family & boyfriend. He drove all the way to Houston with them in the car..& also my mom's dog Peanut came along. It was a good time had by all.

Early December: One of my good friends from college came to the H to visit! Rosabel! We had so much fun together..she is such a ray of sunshine. We went to dinner, did Christmas shopping for our boyfriends & watched some girlie chick flickie movies & caught up with each other. It was so much fun to see her! Love her!


Right before Christmas: I had a sleepover with some of the best girls ever! More good friends from college! Monica, Kelly, Sara, & Cara! We went to dinner & another super awesome girlfriend from college..Kayli.. came along for the dinner portion. So fun! Then afterwards, the group minus Kayli came back to my house & we made Christmas cookies, listened to Christmas music, & caught up. I am so blessed to know such awesome Christian women. Love them! *I don't have a picture from that night..the one picture I did have was on my phone before it decided to reset itself & I therefore lost it...so here is another picture instead..with those girls in it :)**


Christmas: I flew to Amarillo to see my boyfriend..& then we spent time with his family.

As soon as the clock struck midnight signaling that it was now CHRISTMAS DAY, me and Marlon exchanged our Christmas presents with each other. We were like litle kids. Or maybe it was just me. I seriously couldn't wait for him to open up my presents! I have found that the older I have gotten, the more excited I am for OTHER PEOPLE to see what I got them..rather than actually receiving something myself. It's so much fun! My man hooked me up & did a dang good job on my gifts. Love him. And he really liked all the gifts that I got him, too. Christmas day it was snowing in Amarillo.

We didn't let that stop us though. We got on the road & drove down to Tahoka to spend time with my mom, grandma, sisters, and uncle.






It was good to see them & exchange gifts with them also. I love my family.

The next day, me and Marlon were on the road making the long drive back to Houston. Seriously it is the longest drive ever. Don't believe me? Try it. It's horrible.

Marlon stayed with me all the way until January 2nd. What a sweetheart. :) I had to have a gynecological surgery on December 28th. It was an outpatient surgery..so I wasn't there long..but apparently I was there long enough to rack up $11,900 in hospital expenses. Good thing I have insurance? Except..I still had to pay $1100 out of pocket to meet my deductible..& then after that my insurance is 80/20 (if you don't know what that means..that means that my insurance pays 80% & I pay the remaining 20% until I meet my out of pocket maximum of $3000..at which point the insurance would cover me fully). SO basically I am still gonna have to pay some more moolah after already paying $1100. Ridic. This was my first surgery ever before in life..so I was quite shocked about how problematic ($$$) the health care system really is. If you weren't born with a silver spoon in your mouth or don't have a mommy & daddy to foot your bill..then you're stuck paying it..or you just don't get the surgery/procedure done..or you do but are left with 1923419234192349123491234 dollars in debt. Yet people in America get ticked off when a president tries to come in & make the system better. Sorry people..but what we have isn't working that great..so SOMETHING has to change. Don't know what the answer is or if there ever will be one..but I find something wrong with the U.S. scoring lower than other countries when it comes to access to health care. (Don't believe me? Look it up!)

I don't like to put people's business all "out on the street," but I just have to take a moment to brag about my amazing boyfriend. He is a SELF-LESS individual. So kind hearted, sweet spirited, God fearing. He is always thinking about other people. Every single person that I have met that knows him..whether its his family, friends, or people from his church..all have nothing but POSITIVE things to say about him. And everyone who has met him..loves him. He is like a magnet; people are attracted to his positivity, optimism, bubbly personality, and the God filled life that he leads. I remember when I first woke up from my surgery, looking a hot mess, all frazzled and confused still from the anesthesia. Here I'll post a picture:





Not to be graphic, but when I woke up from surgery, I was naked underneath my hospital gown with only a pad in between my legs. I had to be there super early that morning for the surgery..so I didn't have makeup on...and, to be honest, I don't even think I brushed my hair. In fact, I'm sure of it. haha.

So as I lay there..fluttering my eyes open, trying to figure out why I have a diaper thing underneath me...you know what he told me at that very moment? He told me I was beautiful. Now, I know that may seem small..but that sticks with me. Why you ask? Because THAT is a man that will stay by me through the good, the bad, & the ugly...when I am at my BEST and I am at my WORST. A man who will love me whether I am 10lbs heavier than I am now..or 10lbs smaller. A man who is attracted to my INNER spirit as well as my outside apperance. It's amazing because that is exactly what I prayed for so long ago, among many things. I prayed that God would bring me a future husband that was the epitome of a Bible Christian husband..someone who would love me like Christ loved the church..unconditionally...someone who would love me when I am puking over the toilet & instead of being grossed out, would instead, pull my hair back. Someone who would always be there and have my best interest in mind. And someone who would love God more than they love "this moment" and therefore would stand WITH me in my decision to choose to wait until marriage to bring sex into our relationship. Someone who is MARLON. All I can say is I am THANKFUL. GRATEFUL. AND IN CONSTANT AWE OF OUR LORD AND SAVIOR. For He has truly blessed me!

Alright...so I am getting off of my Marlon soapbox now. And onto the last holiday we celebrated...New years!

New years eve was our one year anniversary. Pretty big deal in my book. And in his. We had a nice, delicious, romantical dinner




& went out to Kemah Boardwalk which is on Galveston bay..afterwards.

It was nice. But when all of the bad kids started showing up and it started getting crowded, we had to bounce. So we went back to my house, and toasted to some Apple Cider at midnight..before soon falling asleep.




Recovery wise..I needed a few days before I felt okay. Although that whole first week was pretty not-so-fun. I am so thankful that he was there with me during that time. I think it's times like those..when you are at your lowest point, that God reveals the people in your life that are always in your court...always on your side...people who have your best interest in mind. Now..lets note that not EVERYONE who you call "your friend" is FOR you. Jesus had people that were following him..that weren't FOR Him either. So lets just say..in more ways than one...that the people who really care about me...made themselves known during that time. I also received the sweetest card from a dear sweet woman that I admire very much. She is such a strong Christian Proverbs type woman. I won't name names..but SHE knows who she is! Thank you for being a role model to me & helping bring me to Christ as a small child. You helped to plant the seed of faith in my heart..& now look where I am now! And thank you to everyone else who is always there for me..through the good & the bad. God has blessed me with some pretty awesome people here on earth who love & care about me. So thankful!

While I am on this subject..as a sidebar...I want to just say that I hate texting sometimes. I mean..I love the convenience of it..but I hate the impersonal-ness of it all. Though I appreciate receiving a text from someone than nothing at all...I think a phone call is much better. Reading a text that says "hope you feel better" versus actually hearing someone call you up & tell you..or receiving a heart felt card..is totally different. And it speaks volumes. Just something to keep in mind in the future. I am guilty of it, too. But this year..I vow to be better...to DO better. PICK up the phone & call your loved ones, people. You never know when someone's last day on earth will be. Don't say you don't have time; you DO. You have time for the things that you want to make time for. You had time to log on facebook & read my blog didn't you? ;) ;) ;)

I start back to school on Tuesday. I am not exactly thrilled about it..but then again I am because it's my last semester!!! I can't say it's my last one forever though..because one day I may decide to go back to school & get my PhD. But for now, IT IS MY LAST SEMESTER. I graduate May 19th with my Masters degree in Criminology..so mark your calendars :) It has been a long, trying journey..but God has seen me through & the light is at the end of the tunnel. I am almost done!

That's all I've got. Until next time!

Be well. Be blessed.Kyndra